These are the reasons.

I had the opportunity of meeting an older gentleman of the age of 76 while celebrating another's birthday at a ripe age of 35.  My Angelic wife, Iliana, first introduced herself to him and then I proceeded to do the same.  He was intrigued about our cause while at the party.  He wanted to know more about Living Is So Big.  So, I told him the core basis of what and why we do what we do.  

He then looked at me and said in a very calm and serious voice... "Am I too old to appreciate life?"  Then he followed through with...

Yesterday I was fortunate to attend the birthday celebration of a friend. At first I felt out of place...I'm 76 and everyone else seemed so much younger. Then, after meeting Jesus and after he pointed out his beautiful son, Chris,  across the room, he immediately told me about his gratitude for his son just simply BEING...anywhere. I was filled with gratitude for my life and for my four beautiful children.

After a while, I start wondering why I am still around. Yesterday is a reminder that I can begin each day with the realization that "Life Is So Big". To the Agudo family, thank you for all that you do.

My abilities.  These are awesome to me.  Why is living so big?  Well, I like to say because I have untapped potential with my abilities that I can tap into.  So many things.  =)

I wrote this a while back ago as a song, but then I rearranged it as a poem. It is written about my friend that I lost way too early. And these are my memories of him. I love it. I love him. I miss him dearly everyday. Just know that it is okay to miss someone you have lost; you are going to. And that is okay. And I believe they are still here. I imagine that one day I will see my friend again and I will hug him so tight. And we will talk, catch up, and reminisce on the memories we share. I know that will happen. 

That Sunday Morning

I looked up at your window as I walked past
and imagined you were up there -
Maybe you were playing your video games
or reading your favorite book.
I imagined you coming out the door to say hi -
and I felt the hug you would have given me if you were there.

I remember that Sunday I walked out late -
and you were there sitting on the steps waiting for me.
I reached to where you were and I asked,
"Do I look okay?" with a concerned look on my face.
And you said, "You look beautiful!"
Those words and your voice still echo for me to hear.

She was there sitting beside you while watching the movie
Her head on your shoulder, anticipating your every move
Her heart growing more every day for you.
We would talk about her on the car rides we would take
Wondering endlessly where your heart lay
     - and the ones that broke your heart

Are you at peace? What I'm talking about is being at peace with ourselves. How do we get there? I picture it by getting to a place where I feel at one with myself.  When I'm feeling troubled and my mind doesn't shut down, I start to paint. Somehow, no matter how I'm feeling, if I pick up a paint brush it eases my mind. It makes me feel tranquil straight down to my soul. I also enjoy the sound of the water. We have a little water fountain in the house which at times, I will turn on to feel at peace. The sound of the water trickling, it puts me in a state of mind that just soothes my mind, body and soul.

I can picture myself walking on the sand in a beach, looking up at the sky and seeing the seagulls flying by. I can feel the warm sand between my toes, while feeling the sun grazing my cheek. Now I bet you think I must be at the beach in order to feel this way? No, not at all. We can just go to this place or any other that gives us peace of mind, body and spirit just by closing our eyes and letting our mind go to these places... Let your sensory take over. ...

How often do you think about what you Appreciate in general?  It can be anything in this world or even out of it.  I believe that it is not too often for the 6+ billion people on the planet. Fact of the matter is that we have too much clutter and distraction happening to us every single moment of our existence.  This clutter and distraction is always readily available at the blink of an eye.  It is easily accessible, only requires our attention and is always there just waiting for us to consume into our minds.

Now, with that being said...  how often do you think about, more specifically, Life Appreciation? Makes you think… right?  Good! Now is the time to think and consume the appreciative things in your life.  This is why Living Is So Big exists today.  It is here to help remind anyone that needs a little help in remembering.  We all know it, we all experienced goodness, greatness, joy and happiness.  It’s just that this darn clutter and distraction is always around to make you forget.

Your next step is solely up to you of course.  Remember what uplifts and satisfy you.  Begin to search your memory banks and find what triggers certain emotions of joy and happiness.  Don’t be fooled, the joy and happiness comes in all shapes and sizes.  The joy of drinking a glass of water is a perfect example.  How often do you give a big “Ahhhh” after consuming the water?  Guess what?   You just satisfied yourself. A small moment of joy was experience.  Take it for what it’s worth.  It was joyful!....

Living is so BIG because....

1) Dogs are good cuddlers

2) Can't get enough Pizza

3) I love sharing Angels!
but most of all

4) I have found the love of my life, Victoria Christensen! Love you baby!

Do not forget to have time for yourself.  Now a days, things may seem a bit chaotic and fast-paced with this society, so why not stop and try a new route.  How about instead of worrying about the bills, acknowledge the bills in a calm and collective manner and all the other clutter and distraction and move on taking some time out for yourself.  Actually, take A LOT of time out for yourself.  Do something you enjoy.

Personally I take care of Mind, Body & Spirit on a daily basis.  For me I make it a point to do this everyday, or else I may feel a bit dragged if not.  I continually feed my mind positive thoughts.  That's one for the mind aspect.  Check.  I workout and eat as healthy as possible.  That's another for the Body aspect.  Check.  As for Spirit, I like to meditate, or walk around in nature.  Spirit aspect.  Check....

So what can you do on Valentine's Day? 

"Send someone a card. Go read a book to a senior citizen. Read a book with a child. Tape valentine's day cards to the door of everyone you know. Eat some chocolate--but better yet--SHARE your chocolate! Call someone you haven't talked to in a while. " 

People shouldn't be black.  People shouldn't be female.  People shouldn't be fat.  People shouldn't be gay.  People shouldn't be poor.  People shouldn't be wealthy.  People shouldn't be Muslim.  People shouldn't be Republican.  I could go on forever about what you and I, as people, shouldn't be.

Where do we learn this?  It can't be innate.  Babies will smile at anyone, true little pink, toothless paragons of acceptance.  They don't care how old, fat, bald, conservative, and/or gay you are.  They're usually just so damned happy to see your face.  No, it is a legacy, something like a beautiful grandfather clock, lovingly passed from generation to generation, only not beautiful in any way.  It is something we teach our children, an heirloom seed of hatred passed down a long line.  Fortunately, the world is shifting.  A wave of acceptance is slowly changing the way we, as a whole, view our world and what we teach our children.

As parents, it is our responsibility to teach them that the only thing people shouldn't do is hurt themselves or one another, physically or emotionally.  Hitting and hating - they both hurt.  What people should do is be kind and compassionate.  Be honest and helpful.  Respect people, their ideas, their beliefs, their choices, and welcome them because of their differences, not in spite of them.  Keep an open heart, and sincerely seek joy for others.  And if you do hurt someone, and you will, be repentant.  And be forgiving of others when they hurt you.  Work together to enrich and improve the world around you, and whatever you do, do it with love.

Thank you for lending me your ear for a moment.  You can have it back now.  Except for you, Mr. Van Gogh.  I'm keeping yours.

*steps down from the soap box and heads to work*

My appreciation is for this life, for this body, and for every moment of my life just because all the moments are experiences that provide as to the consciousness to understanding that we are all the same.  We are all one... We are light and energy... Perfection.... Beauty... We can use many words but there are no words to describe it.  We can just feel it.  And every second, moment, and breath provides us to feel truthfulness.

Something that changed my life forever was choosing to get involved. 

I found the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) in May of 2012. I immediately contacted them asking how I could volunteer. They sent me a package of information explaining their mission and what they offer to others. 

I knew I wanted to help more. 

They often say you lose yourself when helping others. And I wanted to do that. 

In August of 2012, I participated in the Out of Darkness Walk in Salt Lake City, Utah. It helps raise money and awareness for suicide prevention. You are also able to walk in remember of the loved you have lost to suicide. 

I also have been able to participate in my local chapter  of AFSP; which taught me that when you are able to relate to someone who is struggling with the same thing you are - walls are broken down and barriers are removed. 

At the Out of Darkness walk, I was able to meet the members of Living Is So Big. They taught me just not about suicide prevention, but about life appreciation. What do you have to live for? What makes you happy? How do you appreciate life? It changed how I viewed things; it also inspired me to keep helping.... 

Yes, I am a High School Musical fan. There is a song called 'We're All in This Together' towards the end of the first movie. The lyrics sing, "Everyone is special in their own way. We make each other strong - we're not the same. We're different in a good way. Together's where we belong."

I recently watched a movie called Pitch Perfect. Yes, it is a ridiculous movie and I have seen it 3x in the movie theater. Each time i enjoy the experience of going more and more, because everyone is laughing together and clapping together to the music. It is an experience unlike any other I have experienced at a movie theater before. Everyone is laughing together and literally cheering for the good guys to win! Everyone walks out of the movie theater dancing and singing to the music. They are all in it together. 

Everything that happens, no matter what happens... Realize everything happens to you for a reason.  Never give up.

Living Is So Big because I am around my family for the holidays.

Every day I miss him, every day I hurt. I remember him always; I think of those memories every day of my life. The times we stayed up till the morning hours, our endless car rides, talks about the girls he liked and the boy I like, about our future plans for the summer such as skydiving, and all the times we spent laughing with our friends. 

Those first few days after everything happened, my friends were my strength. They were the ones that held me up when I couldn't seem to hold it together, we were all in it together We talked, we cried, we hugged. There is a common bond I have with those few people that will hold us together forever.

Life is a big journey.  A journey meant to have experiences, trials, tribulations, ups & downs.  The highs and the lows.  The cool and the not-so-cool.  Life is what you make of it.  To me it is a journey.  Something that I cannot give up on.  Something that I should not give up on.  Something that I will not give up on.  I know that anything can happen, and whether it is something bad that will happen, that won't stop me, because I know there is more good to come. 

My Life Journey has been a windy path, leading me to new places, meeting new people, experiencing new things, etc. And I enjoy all of this.  I am thankful for all that has happened and all that will continue to happen.  For certain individuals that help me along my Life Journey I am forever thankful of them.  As I am the help to other individuals...

On May 11, 2012, I climbed upon the stairs upstairs to his room to try to bring him down to come hang out with us. But he didn't want to go. I knew something was wrong, but he didn't want to talk about it. I said I would see him later. And off I went for the night with some friends to go to the canyon.

The next day on May 12, 2012 I received a call at 8 AM that morning and letting me know he committed suicide. My world was shattered and I didn't know how to put it back together. I broke down and cried. I let my roommate hold me in her arms as she tried to comfort in the unspeakable pain I was feeling. Tears ran down my face as I've never felt them before.

I was shocked, hurt, and mad. Most of all, I instantly missed him.

I never experienced someone close to me committing suicide - I didn't even know anyone who had suffered with such depression before. Or maybe I never realized the reality of it. I didn't know how to deal with the pain I was feeling. I didn't know how to express myself. I started to separate myself from some of my friends and I cried a lot. It hurt so much to cry - I literally felt pain in my body as I cried...

Because I was born...  I was born.  I have a heart-beat.  I can breathe.  I am here for a reason.  So I will continue to live my life.  I have to.

I am happy to be living my life because, when I really stop and think about it, to exist is a miracle. To be a conscious being living in a cosmos which at every scale is mysterious and awesome--and to be aware of it all--is a miracle beyond words. Who, realizing this, would not love and appreciate being alive?