How to Throw a Birthday for a Tortoise

Our tortoise, Gus, turned fifty this year. He came with the house. The previous owners left him with a note: "He likes strawberries and being left alone."

We threw him a party anyway. The kids made a banner. We invited the neighbors, who brought their children, who brought lettuce. My partner baked a "cake" out of stacked watermelon slices topped with hibiscus flowers.

Gus took forty minutes to cross the yard to the cake. Twenty people watched in total silence, cheering every few feet. When he finally arrived, he took one bite of hibiscus, looked at all of us, and went to sleep under a bush.

It was the best party we've ever thrown. The note was right about the strawberries. It was a little wrong about being left alone; I think he secretly enjoyed the fuss.